Thanksgiving Weekend is upon us (for my American readers – yes, we Canadians celebrate a tad early), and there’s no denying that it is going to look a little bit different this year thanks to the omnipresent and ever changing virus that’s halted life in it’s tracks over the past 7+ months.

However, despite the fact that we are limited from large gatherings, and we may not be attending the usual harvest festivals that make this time of year so special, I am looking forward to a weekend of good food, relaxation, and time spent with our inner ‘bubble.’ Because as whackadoodle as this year may be, I look around and still see so much to be grateful for, and for that reason, I believe Thanksgiving is worth celebrating now more than ever.

I wholeheartedly believe the greatest antidote to darkness is always light, and that means in the time of COVID-19, when it is far too easy to fall into that darkness, it’s invaluable to seek out the brightness whenever we can. For some of us, it may seem that we are limited to the small things right now (like the smell of the crisp autumn air), and that’s okay. For others, there may be big things on the horizon to be grateful for this year (like I don’t know … a baby on the way?!). Either way, I am going to spend the next few days doing my very best to rest in gratitude, even though the downfalls of this pandemic can all too often make that hard to do.

I know that I need a weekend of thankfulness as much as anybody right now. While I’ve consistently reminded myself how lucky I’ve been since March to have a safe home, my health, a stable job and income, and technology to keep me connected to my loved ones, the truth is I’ve had a hard time lately. The pandemic is really start to get to me, and as the number of cases spike higher and higher, reality is starting to set in that I probably am not going to get to go see my family in 2020. I haven’t seen my family in over a year now, and we had originally planned to take a trip in the summer. When that was unable to happen (the Maritimes have a strict 14 day quarantine rule for all visitors), I figured we’d take the trip in late November / early December, which seemed like the perfect way to kick off the Christmas season. Now, however, it’s starting to look like that probably won’t be able to happen because the quarantine most likely won’t be lifted by that time. If I’m being totally honest, there have been many a tears shed over this over the past few weeks. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

Not only do I miss my family terribly, it pains me to the core of my soul when I realize I’m probably not going to get to share a single moment of this pregnancy (the first of my generation!) with my side of the family or my friends back home. That’s been a difficult reality to face, and although I’m far from alone here in Ontario (we have Mac’s family and I have made a few great friends in the area), it’s still an isolating thought. I always knew pregnancy would be hard without my mom, but the silver lining to that thought was always that I’d have my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, and my siblings to share it with – the people who knew and loved my mom like I did! And while of course I’m grateful for the loved ones who surround me here, it would be naive to suggest that anything can make up for what I am missing. Because of that, the ache within me as I miss my family has not subsided in the least over the past few weeks, so a weekend of celebrating and giving thanks could not possibly come at a better time.

Taking the next few days to center myself and and refocus myself on the goodness that surrounds me is sorely needed. That’s not to say my sadness or melancholy at a time like this is unwarranted or invalid. However, it’s to express that now more than ever, I need balance. I need to remember that in spite of what COVID-19 has taken away from us, I still have so, so, so much.

This pregnancy is the greatest gift of my entire life, and while both hormones and the reality of this pandemic do have the tendency to dampen the mood at times, it is important to me that I still soak up the joy of this special time. It is limited, and although it sometimes feels it is moving at a snail’s pace, I know it won’t last forever. I want to be able to look back one day and be grateful that I was intentional about cherishing every kick, flutter, and moment of this experience. This weekend, my Thanksgiving plans are to do just that.

Whatever is going on in your life, I hope you’re also able to find the silver lining of the storm that is 2020. It’s been a heck of a year, and although it’s not over yet and I’m sure there’s more peaks and valleys to come, let’s keep focused on the brightness in the brokenness this Thanksgiving weekend. It is always there … Just waiting for us to seek it out.