The Single Most Important Lesson I’ve Ever Learned In Love

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!! You guys … Today is the day of love! In the spirit of all things Cupid, I sincerely hope that each and every one of you are celebrating with chocolate, candy & potato chips (if that’s your kinda vibe … ’cause it’s definitely mine)!!

While I take ‘treat yourself’ to a whole new level on this special day, I thought it would be would be appropriate to share a ‘love-themed’ post.  My fiance and I have been together for a little over 6 years now, and while I realize that is far from a lifetime, we’ve been through our fair share of ups and downs and learned a lot along the way.

If you’re someone who’s been in a multi-decade relationship … Please bear with me. I know it can come off as a bit ‘silly’ for someone like me to share their romantic insight. But I promise, the lesson I’m about to share truly did transform the way I approach all the relationships in my life … But most notably, the relationship shared with my forever Valentine.

So, what is this crazy, revolutionary* lesson? It’s simple.

We must let those we love be human too.

Does that make sense? If not, let me clarify with a little story.

img_7975

I mean …. Could I Be Luckier?! (Answer: No)

When Mac and I were first dating, I fell for him hard and fast. Everything about our relationship was exhilarating and addictive. I could not get enough! It didn’t take long for me to fall under the impression that this incredible guy I was newly seeing basically walked on water.

Everything he did just seemed perfect to me. What can I say? I was a girl in love … Totally head over heels and completely blind to little quirks that would later appear as ‘flaws.’ And while it was absolutely invigorating to feel this way, it was also unfair to him.

After all, perfection is an impossible standard. When we expect this from those we love, it is inevitable that they will eventually fall short. The truth is: this says nothing about them, but a lot about us.

They will forget to call you back.

They will neglect to unload the dishwasher.

They will use a ‘tone’ that grates on your nerves for no particular reason at all.

They will say the wrong thing at some point.

They will accidentally hurt your feelings. And they will probably feel really, really bad about it.

They will disagree with you on one issue or another.

They will nod agreeably during a conversation, then seem to forget you ever had it just a short three hours later.

They will prove themselves to be only human … Time and time again.

What I’ve learned, is that when it comes to being human … We must let them.

img_7732Does that mean we opt not to hold our partners to a higher standard?
Abso-freaking-lutely not! In my opinion, one of the very best things about being in a healthy and happy relationship is that you have someone by your side to ‘do life’ with, who will ideally encourage and motivate you to be the very best version of yourself. That is a two-way street, and it is impossible to overstate the importance of being that motivator for your significant other.

What it does mean for me, however, is that when they make the teensy tiny, every day mistakes that are in no way causing detriment to your life or relationship, I had to learn to let it go. I learned that even though he may be pretty close to perfect in my eyes, I had to recognize the ways in which I’m blinded by love. I had to learn to allow him to be human without holding it against him.  After all, I know for certain that I’m not perfect either … And I can tell you without hesitation that he has  never held that against me.

So the most important lesson I’ve learned in love? Allowing for human error … It sounds simple, but the day I finally let this lesson in, my heart was filled with so much peace and gratitude.

Because the truth is that between all those silly, little human mistakes or disagreements, there is something a million times more important. What is it? The good stuff! The laughter, the memories, the snuggles, and the deep conversations … The future dreaming, the inside jokes, the top secrets and more.

Between all our moments of humanity comes the
greatest part of all … Love.

Being in love with my very best friend is a gift for which I am endlessly grateful. On top of that, I’m undeservedly blessed by incredible friendships, family, and so much more. My ‘love tank’ is way overfull on this Valentine’s Day, and I hope that yours is the same.

Wishing you all a lovely day … Thank you for reading!

*In case it wasn’t obvious … I’m making fun of myself by calling my idea ‘revolutionary.’ Please don’t ever take me too seriously. 

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